An all-round good training

I decided that those smoothies I came up with were worth doing, and so, I now try to keep some fruit at home, some frozen berries and also canned fruit. It is a good thing to be able to get something so filling in the stomach right after training, and the mix of ingredients once again gives relief from muscle soreness. Thus I make a new smoothie every time I go to Kali Sikaran practice, and have a sandwich after every iaido practice. It seems to be working out rather well, so far.

We all train for different reasons. One of mine is, very clearly, that it makes my body stronger, which I definitely approve of. For various reasons. Once, I worked hard at it because if I was to be superior to my tormentors in school not just in mind, but also in body, well, I'd have to work for it hadn't I. So I did. Then my knees got in the way until I discovered iaido, and...
It occurred to me many years ago by now, how much better I feel after iaido, and it has at times been the only thing that kept me going. I get edgy and skittish if I am unable to go to practice or train something. It is oh so easy to just sit still and try to fill my mind with something, to make it not go haywire or hurt. But practice, oh, once I get into the swing of it, there is no thing as good for clearing the mind and giving me the strength to go on, as training!

Iaido is particularily good for cleansing the mind. Kali Sikaran too, it seems, has the effect to clear my mind and calm me down somewhat. It is social in a wholly different way from iaido, and I seem to crave that. We may hit, punch and kick at eachother, but it is always done with respect and in the interest of mutual benefit. And I get to use my muscles to the very end of their strength - and that, often, is just what I need. With the way the public transport runs now, I also have about half an hour extra after training has ended, and I use it for extra exercises and stretching, and some socialising, and perhaps a bit accidental extra practice.
Yesterday I found a new nice tool for training - I think it is called the "t-rex", and the basic idea is two handholds on one string each, and then there's all manner of things one can do with those. The core-strengthening exercises were particularly brutal, and therefore, I must of course feel the urge to get one myself. My shoulders, too, had a nice time of being savaged and thus strengthened. I do appreciate meeting others who train, and especially martial arts. One can always share and learn from eachother!

To me, iaido and Kali Sikaran complement eachother in just the perfect way for me. I am overjoyed at the snow outside, and will definitely be exploring the area behind the house to see if I can find some nice fields to make tracks along, now that it's stopped being all thawy and icky again. I cannot run, as the way they keep the roads here... argh. Honestly, making them all spongy and sploshy, instead of letting them get hard and fast, so that one can run properly! But I can run in the apartment - yes, indeed, I discovered this after I returned after the holidays. It's not a big apartment, but if Nelson Mandela could run two kilometres every day in his tiny cell, then so can I in my apartment... All right, so I do not run every day, but the point is that I can, and I do, just to assuage my burning desire to run outside.

I like a good overall training. I love "finding new muscles", so to speak, and to learn how to work them, too. It does require cold showers afterwards, healthy food and after-practice eating, and good stretching, but once one gets into the habit of actually doing some sort of working out, one can just keep adding more if one likes.

So, like I said - the things I practice complement eachother quite well. Do you think about this aspect of your training at all, do you do it without thinking, or is it perhaps something you ought to think more about?
And - what are your methods to avoid muscle soreness, if you get it at all?

Return to power

Dear me, but I have let this blog fall asleep. Well, there was a lot going on, and I had rather better things than sit down and type...

The Kali Sikaran Christmas camp in Gothenburg was a blast, of course, and the ensuing soreness was glorious. I struck up an old friendship again, the person who once mentioned the very thing of Kali Sikaran to me in the first place. That was really nice, and we are a rather good team as far as practice and sparring goes. It was clear to me that my talent this far lies mainly in unarmed combat, "chaining" techniques, knives or improvised weapons. This is a nice thing as the movements for one can usually be used for the others as well... Karambit was inordinately fun to learn, although apparently it is not a very good idea, juridically speaking, to protect yourself with them in a real-life situation... (Open-palm slapping however, is, to my great pleasure, as I have also proven to be quite adept at using open hands rather than closed fists if applicable).
It was also rather cool to see the advanced classes and those I did not participate in - and there were a few, and oh, how hard it was to choose at times! Good fun, all in all, and great to have many different partners of varying skill levels and body builds.

And as soon as I got back, the very day after, I went to iaido practice, of course. To my disappointment, the holidays, during which I had been rather looking forward to going skiing a ridiculous amount, went... well, soggy. One good long ski tour was had, but then the weather changed for the worse. And of course, bad enough that it wasn't possible to have a good run either, until later, and when I did, well, I borrowed mother's shoes, and had blisters that are still healing (not hurting anymore, though, just... the last loose pieces of skin are falling off). But damn, it went well! I had to slow myself down again and again to pace myself, and not come back home completely exhausted. So, of course, I did have energy to spare when I had completed the run, but... well, I think my lungs still thanked me.

I had a go at being ill in mid-January, to my great unhappiness. It was no fun at all! Just when the training had started up, too!
Buuut, then, I hit the ground running and have been keeping it up since. The muscle soreness is a joy to feel, and this week, there's been a lot of it. The two arts truly do complement eachother well regarding my muscles. My shoulder has not been giving me too much trouble apart from a brief spell around the time I was ill, when I could hardly sleep for the pain in it, and the rest of the neck - I am uncertain as to why this was, but, it passed, and I now sleep with a plastic teeth-protection-bit-thingie. This helps my jaws to no end, and I no longer wake up with my front teeth in a new shape every morning....

For me, it was easy to get back into training after the involuntary hiatus over the so-called holidays. I occasionally run to the train just for the hell of it, or, jog, at least, as I can't run properly in my big boots, I challenge myself in every training session, and I am working on my cutting technique in iai, and, well, whatever is thrown my way in Kali. I have really started to have the various pieces fall into place, even double stick. Today's practice was a joy, with and without sticks. And it's not just me who find that speed is one of my strengths - one of the others grinned and muttered that it'd be far easier to "hit" me were I not so quick. ("Hit" because it was warmup, and all about a light touch to the shoulder or knee, rather than a punch). Also, today I had a truly epic smoothie after the training. I usually only take a sandwich with inordinate amounts of cheese, sausage or something such, usually with salad on top, but I had the chance to mix up a pure-fruit smoothie, and so I did. Strawberries, raspberries, an orange, a banana, an apple... ecologically grown, too, or as locally grown as I could get them - because it damn well tastes better, and is better for the environment too. And, I added a dash of that powder (Gainer or Whey-80, can't remember which and can't be bothered to go and have a look right now) from StarNutrition which I used for a while when I went from pretty much easy workout to four days of hard training a week and very little sleep - it saved my health and I am not ashamed to use it, though I do not use it as a substitute, but rather a complement to the food I eat, a dash of extra help to avoid muscle soreness and promote muscle growth. It's Swedish made, tested for pretty much everything and one of th brands with the best reputation there is, as far as I have found. And if I take just a dash, and blend it into a LOT of other things, well, then I can hardly taste it, and I can stomach getting it down. So tomorrow, I shall see if it has helped the muscle soreness somewhat! I will not overuse it, but, like I said, use it as a complement to give that extra little bit that my body needs. I didn't slack off too badly muscle- or fitness-wise over the holidays, but I am certainly not going to let my evolution stall here...

Over to you, now - was it easy getting back into stride after the holidays, or did you just not stop doing your regular routine?

I hope you're going to follow me yet again, because I am back, and so should you be! Oh, and that enormous blue blotch on the inside of my knee, pay it no heed. That was caused by a well-placed heel, and is now being treated with a very helpful gel, hopefully to be vanished soon...

The reasons for training

The shoulder seems to have settled into being trouble, but it is generally less painful than it was at first. Kali works better than iaido, possibly because of the lack of vertical lifting movements with heavy objects. Regardless, this Monday I had to forego the iaido practice. On Tuesday, I learned that blocking a rattan stick with the (in my case rather protruding) bone bump by your wrist is a bad move. On Thursday, I learned that blocking a rebounding rattan stick with your eyebrow is equally bad, if a little less short-term painful. My eye didn't swell shut, but it did look rather odd until I got to it with the Voltarol/Voltaren cream. Wednesday I had the opportunity to be a hardass, evil trainer with lots of nitpicking, when there was only one other more experienced practicioner at the iaido. I managed to get through the ZNKR kata, as well as all Shoden and Chuden kata I know, but it was good to be able to break it off and rest the shoulder with some nitpicking. The student I helped coach has, as so many, a great many tiny issues. One of his is that he is constantly talking back. Not necessarily arguing, but I am schooled in the Japanese way - you listen, nod, and do. But at times I allow him to speak, because he seems to need it in order for things to stick. We managed to fix a detail no one has noticed before - he kept his sword much too far pushed into his obi, too far to the left, which caused some awkwardness in his gripping the tsuka and drawing, and also made him sloppy with hikite/sayabiki, that is, drawing back his left hand to allow the katana out of the saya/scabbard. Having fixed this, much of his form instantly became better. I am always glad when I can iron such little creases out. And, I pushed for something which I personally am very aware of - when walking, or moving, I try to teach students to avoid bobbing up and down. This is not something the other teachers speak much about, but I have become a little audacious in my teaching, and am now pushing for this. No one has yet told me off so I suppose they are fine with it. I have been thinking again about motivation. Why do I do iaido, and why do I do kali sikaran? My reasons are different, but frustratingly intangible in a way. I am a perfectionist. That was one of the reasons I mentioned when my first iaido teacher asked me why I had come. The perfection in iaido spoke to me. Also, of course, swords are cool. I have been doing iaido for a very, very long time now. I feel an obligation to all the sensei before me, all those who have passed their knowledge on to me. It is forward reciprocity, which I am very keen on. I want to be fast, skilled and strong. I want my form to be perfect, so that when a situation arises (hypothetically, as always, who walks around with a sword in their belt these days?) my mind will not stop. I will move outside the kata and just act. And I pursue perfection, as I know I have many things to perfect yet. Iaido is closely tied to Zen buddhism, and since it is a do, it needs must be connected to my life, and vice versa, in a much stronger way than most people think martial arts is. But that is the way of it! A do is a way. It is not just a thing you go to and exercise. Kali sikaran is... enjoyable. Flexible. Full of variation. Physical. Changing. Evolving. It requires, in its proper form, the same no-mind and non-stopping-mind as iai or any martial art. It allows me to move beyond one weapon, allows me to broaden my perspective and when I drop the sword, if I do, I will still be highly armed and dangerous. I am a beginner and am yet able to remember that, and avoid being frustrated at my inability to do things perfectly at once. This is very good, as I like to be reminded that there is always more to learn. Yet there is still the politeness and the "practice WITH rather than AGAINST eachother" that I am so very fond of in Shorinji Kempo. Running is sheer enjoyment. It is something which I can feel strengthens my body every time I have the chance to do it, it cleans my mind, helps me keep it in the now or helps it roam, depending on what is needed at that moment. I am now able to run barefoot style in my big combat boots too, if only for limited distances, and it is not as comfortable, but still - I have changed my way of running and am better off for it. It is floating across the ground, instead of pounding it. I run because of freedom, exploration, stamina, strength, no-mind, its beneficial effects on everything else I do... I run because running makes me feel alive. Do you have different reasons for doing the various physical exercises you do, and/or what are those reasons?

Careful training to ease pain

I am still uncertain what caused the shoulder pain from the nether regions of whatever hell there might be. But by switching to using the left hand almost exclusively, taking care to avoid putting stress on it, I managed to make it less hurty. That Wednesday I had to carry a lot, but I set my mind on iaido practice, and it worked fine enough. I had trouble with several movements - oo-chiburi was nigh on impossible, for example, and at times noto as well. I used only a bokuto, therefore, but, since I led the beginners' practice, it was quite all right and possibly better. I could focus on helping them instead of showing them. The shoulder felt less stiff and sore afterwards, though the pain was a bit worse. Thursday's kali practice went surprisingly well, and I had moments during the day when there was no pain at all, in fact. I kept my mind on relaxing and not unconsciously hunch up, during the day. We used the escrima sticks, single or double, which was a bit tricky until the shoulder seemed to limber up - once again, there was pain afterwards, and it didn't like carrying things, but it felt far less sore and stiff. I worked hard during practice, which was an absolute pleasure, and I had the chance both of going in-depth in how I did my stickwork (...what a word!) and going all-out with a padded stick together with another beginner. She and I are quite different in skill level and what we are good at, but she is always good fun to have as a partner! I like that about the kali, there is always so much variation. And the next day, I felt my shoulders had really worked the day before, which I take as a very good sign. It is a personal quest for me to strengthen them both! I must say it seems to me I have begun figuring out how to focus to learn new things. It's something like having a switch or gauge in my head/mind, that I have to carefully fine-tune, and focus on at all times (my mind is rather fond of wandering). It seems as if this is slowly helping me to become better to "learn by seeing" in a new way in iaido, too, and possibly "by doing" too, but I shall have to wait until I am able to try to learn a new kata before I can test that theory. It is good to feel that mind and body are coming to be more and more in harmony with eachother. Not that the mind necessarily feels all spiffy and good, or the body, but, they are far less separated. I have not experienced the "steering myself from above-behind myself" feeling for quite some time! I wish I had the time for a run today, the weather is gorgeous, but I shall have to content myself with a walk, and iaido practice tonight! The shoulder is still painful, but I keep being careful. I think I know where the pain is, but, there isn't much to do. Except try to convince medical authorities to give me a cortisone shot, I guess. Have you been injured or ill lately, and what did you do, or what do you most often do, when that happened/happens?

When old injuries get a makeover

My right shoulder started, today, late in the afternoon, to wreak seven kinds of hellish pain upon me. It is growing steadily worse. I can now not type without pain, and lifting it higher than waist-height is almost out of the question. This is after a does of Voltarol/Voltaren/diclofenac gel on it. But it clearly originates too deep. I do know I tend to fall ill after an exam, but this is something quite new. I can see no trigger for it either, other than possibly sleeping on it weirdly during an afternoon nap? Updates will follow. Tomorrow I try iaido again. Have been away for the past few days to write big test in other city. I am going to try and find out if someone could spray some cortisone into it. It's about time anyway, damn it all.

Update after a while of quietude

It's been quiet here for the past two weeks, hasn't it? It is due to the phenomenon known as "midterms", which had me swearing and whinging quite a lot. Summarize and discuss the Viking Age in no more than two pages? For an archaeologist with a specialty in the area? I made it, of course, but it was a hard task. I haven't been avoiding my practice, though! That weekend did admittedly see me mostly sit still and study, but I took a few walks. Monday saw iaido practice, mostly koryu, and Wednesday also, although, I was the one to lead the beginner's training then, and consequently did not exert myself quite as much as usual. Not that I didn't do anything and just walked around shouting instructions, but it is a natural consequence that one doesn't do as much as a teacher as when one is a student. Tuesday meant Kali Sikaran, with a lot of stick fighting (escrima, if that sounds more familiar to you). I had a bit of trouble, I don't know why, but I felt somewhat craptastic and unfocused, no matter how much I tried. We focused mostly on one or two different "kapkas", I think they are named, which are sequences of hitting that can be used with or without weapons. It was very rewarding, and also, I was amused to feel sore in my torso muscles - I seldom do, but clearly these movements woke up muscles I don't use as much. We finished by an all-on-one, which meant everyone moved around one person with one mitt, and feigned a cross hit attack, to which the "attacked" responded with a certain sequence of blocks and strikes. It was great fun and very rewarding, though my defensive nature kicked in and I think I may have been a bit too good at avoiding getting fenced in at all... which wasn't really what the exercise was about. Next time, I'll try and stay put and just defend myself. Thursday we had one of the most senior Kali Sikaran practitioners there is, as a guest trainer. It was quite different. His charisma and way of leading is quite different from our usual one's. He divided the group, though, with the two most accomplished in one corner, and us other three (and our trainer) in another. It was a good choice, I think, as it meant the other two could really get some extra challenging practice! And I enjoyed very, very, very much to get the chance to practice with out trainer. He is a very good partner, and I find him very skilled at gauging and adapting to the skill level of those he trains with, while never giving an inch and always challenging you. Also, his way of explaining really works for me. The Katalong Guro showed us several long chains of attacks, defenses and so on, and we took them in quite large chunks before putting them together, or using a variaion. Very rewarding, but oh, I felt quite frustrated at my own ineptitude sometimes! Which, I must point out - was a good thing! Because, it reminded me of how one should deal with such setbacks and emotions. Not give in to them, but accept them, and transcend them in a way. Accept, and then grit your teeth and fight. Do, do again, and do it until you can do it correctly. Never sag and give up. Accept your ineptitude, listen to the trainer, try it this way and that, do it slowly and deliberately, until your body begins to understand what you want it to do. So I am very grateful for my ineptitude and frustration! It lead to something good. In the end, we were all quite cheerfully (though, of course, in a focused manner) blocking, attacking, kneeing and tumbling to the floor. It was very interesting, very challenging and I am happy I had the opportunity to train with a different trainer! And of course, the day after I felt a little sore in my muscles, as it should be! That, I expect, will also be the case tomorrow - it seems to take me about two days, or one and a half, to get the after-effects of a hard time's practice. And yesterday, I was the one to lead the iaido practice, and I wasn't a nice trainer yesterday. I started out a little tetchy, but with some good reason - standing around talking to the previous users of the hall in the dressing room is NOT what you should do five minutes into the practice time has begun. So I drove them, and myself, hard. Lots of things that had our legs beg for mercy, and then some more. And I had that as a bit of an underlying theme - use your thighs, and use them well, and use them all the time (I also had a bit of a focus on weight, as I consider 55% on the front leg, and 45% on the back leg, as being the very least of a proper weight distribution you can use in iaido. You want to be pressing forward, prepared to spring and never once let your weight fall onto your back foot). You need to use them to do proper iai, and when we finally went from excruciating (well, more so for them than for me, but I've got a head start) bokuto exercises to ordinary kata practice, I kept nagging them about this. And, I think it worked quite well, everyone did the five first Musou Shinden Ryu kata quite well in the end. But they looked a bit stiff-legged afterwards. It is so very important to use the thighs, and not just shuffle around on the floor. You have to really use those muscles, never once letting your body take the easy way out. In the end, I think the best thing we managed was to straighten a certain issue of balance and weight distribution out, in Inyoshintai. So, I am happy. I have practiced evil-sensei-happy-smile, so I think I'm getting quite good at being one. This weekend saw me travelling, and thus not much in the way of conventional practicing was done, but certainly a good amount of carrying and walking up stairs. No running to trains this time, though, but that is one spontaneous bit of exercise I can really, really do without, for the sake of my mental health. Tonight, it will be Kali again, yay! I hope we're not going to do too much Sikaran, though... my legs do feel what I did to them yesterday. Heheh. ...now that I think about it, my shoulder hasn't been giving me much trouble since yesterday. I must have done something right when focusing for cutting. And though my toe is certainly behind, it often bends and doesn't quite follow instructions, it no longer hurts constantly. I take this all for being a good set of things. What have you been doing these past weeks? Have you ever had periods of practice where you focus on one particular group of muscles?

The importance of motivation

I have been meaning to speak about motivation, and I will do it now. I am not the best to do so - I have always h ad a more than a little stubborn streak, a willpower that could shatter granite or even diamond and an annoying habit of going through with things I have decided upon. However, I am also adept at simply not doing other things. It often comes down to motivation. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it is a noun, and "the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way", including "the general desire or willingness of someone to do something". It can thus be why we do what we do, or how much we want to do something. I have always wanted to be able to run. Why, I do not know. Possibly from seeing mother tear her way through competitions for the sheer fun of it, when young. Or possibly because I couldn't, after around eleven years of age. Or because I had, and loved it, and wanted to again. I have wanted to get rid of pain (knees, shoulder, back...). But I went to doctors and specialists alike, and seldom got a very good reception, until one lady finally began, well, listening. Not just hear what I said, but listen to it, too. However, even before that, I had found a prime motivator for myself: Whatever I did that caused my health to be on top, it helped my iaido, my martial art. That seemed to be the key. I could never do all those boring exercises I was supposed to waste half an hour on every day, and so on. I have always had a lot to do, simply because I can, and I enjoy it. And enjoy sometimes painful, often exhausting and boring, and definitely repetitive, exercises designed sorely to "make the muscles in my legs steady the knees", well... it wasn't a motivator that helped me. It did nothing, no matter the pain. I have to go roundabout ways to get motivation, or get motivated, or to do things. But like I said, my mind is strong, and the device "mind over matter" has nearly always helped me. When it doesn't, that's when I fall into deep pits of despari, but let's talk about that some other time. Now, I started doing iaido in... uh... 200...4? I think? That should be it. It was clear from the start I had to do the sitting kata standing up. No kneepads I could borrow or buy helped that. Until 2005, in autumn, after I had lived in Japan and been ordered to come back and grade for shodan (first dan) in November. I had to get something for my knees. And I went to a specialised company selling stuff to amongst other professionals, militaries, and so on, and there, I found Arc'teryx's kneepads with a thin, hard, plastic part on the outside, and soft cushioning on the inside. They had adjustable straps and, I bought them and thought it worth it, when three weeks later, I had learned to do the kata sitting down, and taken my shodan. I have used them since. Sure, I may look odd compared to everyone else, but they make it work. And once I had those, I could start on more complicated stuff. The koryu kata that are practically all from a sitting position didn't hurt in the bad way, they suddenly... made the pain go away. Unknowingly, I was strengthening all those muscles all the therapists had been trying to telling me to. But I was doing it on my own accord, and for my own reasons: my way in life, that is, iaido. It is not simply something like going to the gym. It is a "do", a way, of living, not just physical exercises. In short, I need something more than a mere "do this and everything will be fine, or at least better". And I needed the honesty, a few years later, of someone saying "you have accepted that you will never get perfectly well, but you are willing to make an effort to become as good as you can, and that is good" (thank you, Anna-Karin at Bosön). I have had many different motivations throughout the years. My mind is my strong point. I have used imagination, down to writing myself a message "to be taken to the elf king beyond the valley, by fastest runner - go!" in order to run (of course, this was back when I ran "normally" and though I certainly did it, I still found it a struggle and stopped), or putting myself in an imaginary Japan, with a whole other name, in a dojo, training as one of the warriors of the clan, in order to be well defended against outsiders. Yes, I use fantasy, and I use my own imagination, and if I find something strong enough, it works. When I was young, I used the motto that if I wanted to be an elf, I had to BE one. Run, jump, train, exert myself! So I went from being unwilling in the PE classes, to being quiet, and very, very hard-working. I hated the others there, but I did everything and I did it well, and it showed. And it felt good, because I knew that I had to be the best, or I wouldn't be an elf. Because an elf is better than a human, right? For running, I used the motto "what if...?" What if this works, running barefoot style? What if it will help me run again? And I used the will from way back when to actually run, the one I had, lamenting, put into a small mental box and mourned and given up. Some use winning as a motivation. Being the best, beating everyone else, can give you an immense satisfaction, and a boost to your self-esteem. Now, I think you should be able to boost your self-esteem all by yourself, and not depend on others for it (and certainly not do it by somehow diminishing others, or hurt them, or cause yourself to feel "higher" than them by making them "lower"), but we are talking motivation here - whatever works for you! (Almost whatever, anyway). Some use getting faster, stronger, harder. Running longer, or the same distance but quicker. This can be a very powerful motivator for some, but I think its importance and strength has been exaggerated. Especially in school, we tend to see this almost everywhere, and fail to realise, there are other ways of motivating people to get better. Some need some goal, such as loosing a specific amount of weight (muscles weigh more than fat, mind you) or being able to, like above, run a set length for a set time, or somesuch. Some need something less tangible - like me, where I need somehow to be able to relate everything back to my iaido. Whatever I do that might even remotely benefit that, is automatically easier to do, or, gets done at all. Or I must have some fantasy in my head to follow, but then, I live a lot inside my head anyway so that might not be good for everyone. And some do not need A to have a result or worth of B. For some, the sheer joy, or the doing itself, is the motivation. A modified quote from one book by Charles de Lint is "It is the doing, not the done" ("Yarrow" by Charles de Lint). Some need others to keep tabs on them, since they "cheat" if they are the only ones involved. Some use treats for motivation - a chocolate praline, a new pair of shoes, going out to dinner, taking a trip, having a bath, buying something they've wanted for some time or whatever the case may be. Others use the opposite - threats - for motivation. "If I don't do this, then that will happen/be my punishment." This works for some, but I prefer positive motivational force. Some people are stuck in trying to motivate themselves in one way. We change over time, no matter how long we live or what we do, and therefore, I would advice to occasionally try out another way of motivating yourself. Try keeping it positive, encouraging and, well, motivational. If it's a chore, it's not motivation. Find what works, think your life through. And do not shy away from unpleasant realisations or hard decisions, questions and suchlike. Motivation is a powerful force, so use it as such. Combine many ways, or use only one. What are your thoughts on motivation? What is your personal way of being/becoming motivated, or for motivating yourself or others? Do you have some example of what has worked, and what has not worked?